“Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes.”
May Magic…Sometimes I have to write at the beginning of the month and other times the very end. Considering I haven’t been doing this for long, I’d say those times are undetermined thus, I have no idea what my preferred blogging pattern is. One thing I did notice this May are the changing temps in NYC. In one week, I wore tall boots with a raincoat, a light denim dress with some skips, sandals and a skirt then back to tall boots. Moody weather at it’s finest along with a moody moi in response to some meticulously-annoyingly-moody days.
Yes, there were days, I was on cloud 9 armed with life-affirming quotes and a positive attitude. Then there were those semi-bitter days where I’d step in gum with new footwear that was solely, meant to be worn in the car as in door-to-door service not sidewalk-stomping. That’s no big deal at all right? It does not merit the “everything happens for a reason” or “everything has it’s season” clichéd remarks we say during a crisis? But these little things kept happening and I was done, spent, worn-out, tired of it all!
Again, the May seasons I experienced were not the big “oh my goodness” moments but instead they were the ones where- I missed the bus, caught the next one, believed I forgot my phone, went back home only to learn I had it on me all along, got to my destination late, my tardiness is frowned upon, I’m hungry but don’t have time or money to buy something and oh yeah, it wasn’t my phone I forgot it was my favorite breakfast bar, lunch and dessert; I finally make amends with the morning then a series of unfortunate events part two takes place in the afternoon-moment! That’s the season. The season of little things happen.
I own one too many books about dealing with life’s bigger issues such as tragedy, depression and sickness. Yet learning how to cope with the little things is what was missing from my arsenal. However, May had it ready to teach. Not to mention, balancing sleep, job, career (not the same), home repairs, relationships, and relaxation was not to far behind in the educative process. The seasons were encroaching on my style. Something had to change. I changed.
I did. Well a little. Rule #1: Change a little for little things! No, that’s not real I think. Don’t follow that rule. Don’t you dare do it. I did change. I am not sure how it happened. Somehow the end of April to the end of May created less time for me to brood. I stopped believing I could control the outcome of each day with preparation and discipline. Instead, I maintained order (preparation and discipline) and adopted the attitude entitled: Get through it smiling more, whining less.
So, I practiced quickly finding the good in the meticulously-annoyingly-moody days. Instead of contemplating getting off the grid and finding a cozy island to reside on for the rest of my life I searched for something good. Sometimes it’s like searching for a tiny clear button on the floor and sometimes it’s easier. I vow to keep looking. That’s the magic. That’s my magic. It’s the trick behind being able to flow with the seasons. While simple it is not, it is worth a genuine and consistent effort.
“I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.”
J. B. Priestley
Note: This May blog arrived in June due to a mini-flood from the ceiling over a portion of my living room right where I keep my laptop! Yes it was drenched. I was tested and passed. No freak-out, no tears. Onward…
Love & Change,